Monday, December 26, 2011

Adjective Monday

Hey idiots I'm back in the land of internet.

If there's gonna be Black Friday and Cyber Monday, then it's only fair that the month of Consumeristmas ends with Materialistic Monday(We'll have to work on the name next year). Today is the day you ungrateful fucks take back all the stuff someone who cares about you took the time to pick out and trade it in for what you'd rather have. Because that's what the holiday is about.

I gotta say, I had a good holiday. Hope you did too. I like giving presents and watching all my Christmas programming and eating. I just spent five days at my mom's house and I ate actual meals every day. Here in my apartment a bag of chips counts as dinner. I ate so much real food I shoulda asked for toilet paper instead of DVDs and money. Gotta say, my favorite part about going "home for the holidays" is pissing off the back porch. I musta watered the backyard 20 times this week. I don't even give a fuck.

I don't ever give a shit if I get presents or not, but I always do, and I'm grateful and appreciative. I only ever return things if it's something I already own. Here's what I got:

*Season 3 of both Parks & Recreation and The Boondocks
*The new John Feinstein book, and Live From New York paperback (my dog ate my original copy)
*Muppets Yahtzee
*This shirt:

Here's some shit for you to read today.

What Non-Christians Want Christians To Hear ( I don't know if any Christians would even read this site but I'm sure all my non-Christian friends can read this list and go "Yep. That's true. Yeah that also. Yep that one too." like I did.

What's Up Your Ass? (Deadspin) A collected list of all the items found stuck in different orifices by ER workers. You better believe "Buzz Lightyear stuck in rectum" is on that list.

Worst TV of 2011 (A/V Club) Here's all the garbage you assholes ate up all Fall. "Whitney" is currently tied with using the hashtag '#Blessed' for being the country's #1 cause of breast cancer. That's science and you can look it up.

My Amazon Wishlist If you got a giftcard and you can't decide what to buy, let me help you.

Alright, I'm gonna go edit/write more on older posts so that this site looks more complete. Bought the domain today so that part is done. I got the domain from NameSearch, who I chose over GoDaddy specifically because a.) they are staunchly anti-SOPA and b.) their HNIC isn't one of those sport-hunting twats.

Have a day.

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